To: Readers, Love: Fireball

Hey there everybody, Fireball here, long time no see. Twinno is insistant that I post here more often, so I figure I might as well at least say "hi". Unfortunately, the CD drive on my laptop is broken, meaning I can't pop in any lovely Bollywood DVDs to watch until I get it fixed (since my roommate took her DVD player home as well this weekend). So, I've been forced to look elsewhere for my necessary dose of Bollywood.

Where else would one go but YouTube.com? YouTube probably my new favorite thing on the internet. On YouTube, I can find nearly everything I need for entertainment, from ridiculous homemade music videos to subtitled Japanese doramas. And, of course, you can find the best bits of Bollywood there as well, such as this wonderful tidbit:




It needs no explanation other than that I love it completely and utterly and possibly even more than the real Superman.

Kuch Khatti Kuch Meethi, (2001)

I’m going to come right out and say it. I don’t like The Parent Trap, either adaptation. I don’t like Hayley Mills and I don’t like Lindsay Lohan.

I am, however, a big fan of Kajol, which is the only reason I sought out Bollywood’s adaptation of the aforementioned film, appropriately titled Kuch Khatti Kuch Meethi (some sour, some sweet, or vice versa. Too much confusion, darling!)

As far as the sisters go, there is Sweety, who is anything but sweet. She lies, cheats, steals, and otherwise livens up the movie. She lives with her father, but hates everything about him and her situation (I would too – it’s got everything from emotional manipulation to alcoholism and physical abuse), and it’s only a matter of time before Sweety splits. Then there is the nicer, boring twin, Tina, who lives abroad with her mother. It’s easy to tell the difference between the two since Sweety wears far more eyeliner.

And as for Mom and Pop, of course they didn’t separate because of irreconcilable differences. That would be silly. They’re driven apart by an evil aunt, out for the family’s fortune. That makes much more sense.

And when Sweety ends up in England, where Tina lives, no one is more confused than Suniel Shetty. He is, in fact, so mixed up that at some point he takes up pole-dancing.

I don’t even know. I don’t know what to tell you.

Things are quickly messed up when Sweety’s dubious employers try to kill Tina, and Tina’s adopted uncle finds Sweety passed out from drinking. Tina escapes with a new boyfriend, and Sweety has found a mother she had long thought was dead.

Still, despite the likeableness of the heroine (heroines?) this movie is several notches below either Disney Parent Traps on the “Good-O-Meter.” There’s a lot that doesn’t make sense, and it doesn’t help when things turn crass (Viagra jokes? Ew) or ridiculous (“There’s an army tank in the grocery store parking lot? I knew we shouldn’t have named it Tianamen Shopping Square”).

Best (or worst?) line: “Hello? I believe in women’s lib. Oh, and by the way – all men are dumbos.”

Bluffmaster, (2005)

I know, I know, it's been a while. But now I've gotten half the semester under my belt and hopefully it will be smooth sailing until finals.

With a few extra hours me and the flatmate sat down to study/watch Bluffmaster starring Abhishek Bachchan and FPMBF Riteish Deshmukh. I hate to admit that at first I only barely looked up; it seemed a run-of-the-mill "reformed bad guy loses girl" kind of story. Not that it lacked humor, convincing acting, good-looking gals and dolls, and glossy songs - I just wasn't drawn in.

That is, until Riteish Deshmukh appeared onscreen. Oh, Riteish. You light up my life.

Have you ever heard of little dog syndrome? That's the official term (well, my official term) for what makes little dogs think they're big dogs. You've seen Pomeranians growling at Rottweilers, right? Little dog syndrome. "Riteish D's" Dittu suffers from the same malady; he's a small-time conman who thinks he belongs in the big leagues. Somehow he latches onto Bachchan's Roy, the greatest player in the game, for training. Roy is dragged out of semi-retirement by Dittu, the chance to regain his lost ladylove (Priyanka Chopra), and an urgent need to live life to the fullest.

While chock full of some great zingers and one-liners, this film was not as funny as I thought it would be. The humor was balanced by some drama (both of the subtle and "melo" variety, c/o Dittu) and some romance as well. What made this film for my was its style - glossy, modern, over-the-top. The songs? Fun and dance-y. The acting? Nothing bad there. The ending? Guessed by flatmate, but still surprising. All in all, it was a fun enjoyable film. Funtimes were had by all.

Couch potato time

So you may have noticed a distinct lack of Basmatic lately, and for that, I'm sorry. I haven't had much time for watching and writing and posting about Bollywood films. And you want to know why?

Television. That's why.

It's a horrible excuse, and I know it. I don't think there's anything out there that's worse for you than television, which might explain why mine seems to always be on. I like things that are bad for me. Like candy. And ice cream. And running in traffic.

I don't know why, but it's a yearly ritual for me to try and watch every season premiere of any television show that a) seems mildly interesting or b) I've seen before. There are very few shows that I try hard not to miss at all, but my TV-watching habits are generally not set in stone. For example, I wanted to watch the premiere of The Gilmore Girls last week but ended up watching House instead. And then somehow I got sucked into that horribly awful teen-soap-drama mess that is One Tree Hill on Wednesday (didn't that show used to be about basketball? And isn't Chad Michael Murray a few years too old to be a believable high school senior? And why are teenagers getting married?) and Smallville on Thursday. I'm terribly hooked on Grey's Anatomy and out of a deep-seated loyalty I still watch ER from time to time - which paid off in a weird way one week a few seasons ago when real life Bollywood duo Anupam and Kirron Kher appeared as Neela's parents in one or two episodes. I used to watch Desperate Housewives but since GA moved to Thursdays I'm not setting aside my Sunday nights anymore. Ugly Betty looks promising, and it looks like another fun-filled season on Lost (and by "fun-filled" I mean "We'll never figure out what's going on, will we?").

The good news is I got Bluffmaster in the DVD player and a nice, long weekend to spend my time with it. Funtimes are fast approaching, friends.