I love my sister.

Since I went to visit my sister (you may know her from her Bollywhat blog), I am swimming in so many Bollywood DVDs that I don't know where to start. For starters, I got my copy of Lajja back and that is one of my very favorites. The other goodies:

Chhota Chetan
This film, a children's "fantasy tale" starring a metallically-coiffed Urmila Matondkar, is interesting because the footage with the children was shot about a decade before the footage with Urmila. I guess they shelved it halfway through production because they didn't have the special effects they wanted.

Hera Pheri
Starring Akshay Kumar, Suniel Shetty, Paresh Rawal, and Tabu, I've heard that this movie is hilarious. I guess it doesn't matter how confused I am after reading the synopsis, as long as it makes me laugh.

Elaan/Dil Maange More
This double-disc features a movie that I've seen and what that I have not. One is an ensemble action film, while the other showcases Shahid Kapoor getting lots of kisses. Explosions and gunplay are always fun the second time around; I may pass on the kisses.

Kucch To Hai
I could kick myself because I meant to leave this and take Caravan. Supposedly it's a remake of I Know What You Did Last Summer starring Esha Deol (eww), Tusshar Kapoor (eww) and Natasha (I don't even know who that is).

Rangeela
A classic of modern Hindi cinema which I have not yet seen. From my understanding, it is particularly memorable for showcasing Jackie Shroff in a Speedo. Also starring Aamir Khan and Urmila Matondkar in this class-struggling love triangle.

Badhaai ho Badhaai
On the cover there is a photo of a very happy yet somewhat obese man, photoshopped next to a scantily clad Shilpa Shetty. Also starring Anil Kapoor and Kirti Reddy.

Chor Machaaye Shor
This one cured Fireball of her Bobby Deol crush. Since I don't have that affliction, I'm wondering if it's worth three hours of my time. Also stars Shilpa Shetty and Bipasha Basu, and is directed by David Dhawan (who served up some forgettable fun previously in movies like Dulhan Hum Le Jayenge and Mujhse Shaadi Karoge).

Awara Paagal Deewana
The DVD case calls this an "action-packed comedy." I really don't care what you call it, as long as cuties Akshay Kumar, Suniel Shetty, and Aftab Shivdasani get plenty of screentime.

Chalbaaz
What can be greater than watching a Sridevi film? Watching a Sridevi film sans subtitles!

Anamika
This is an old one starring Sanjeev Kumar and Jaya Bhaduri (now Bachchan). The synopsis on the back isn't helpful, but there is a picture of Helen in an outrageously mod outfit, so I think I'll like this one.

Deewangee
Starring Ajay Devgan, Akshaye Khanna, and Urmila Matondkar, this initially seemed to be another classic love-triangle film. After reading the back, though, it appears that this movie is actually a murder mystery concerning the music industry and spelling errors.

Khakee
I've been waiting to see this tricky action movie for a while. Even though the ending's been spoiled, I'm looking forward to watching the ensemble cast (including Amitabh Bachchan, Ajay Devgan, Aishwarya Rai, Akshay Kumar) seduce/betray/shoot at each other.

Jaanam Samjha Karo
Fireball said that, while this isn't such a good movie, she liked it anyway. Stars Urmila Matondkar and Salman Khan.

Teesri Manzil
Asha Parekh's got back, Shammi Kapoor's got hair, Helen's got a dance number. That's all you need to know about this fun and hilarious murder mystery from the sixties.

The only two of these movies that I've seen (besides the aforementioned Lajja) are Teesri Manzil and Elaan. That leaves me with a staggering thirteen films to watch, and I don't know where to start. I don't want to go from my anticipated greatest to least, because then I'll never watch them all. I also don't want to go through them chronologically. I don't know! I just don't know!

Parineeta, (2005); Asoka, (2001); Mrityudand, (1997)

Well, faithful readers (I know there's one, maybe two of you) it has been a long month since I last posted. I moved out, moved in, attended graduations, and pulled up the ugly pink carpet that gave me rugburn when I fell down the stairs WITH MY BARE HANDS (I'm mad vengeful, yo). Aside from that, I really haven't had time to indulge in my Bollywood addiction, so I offer some recaplet/reviews of movies I've seen a while ago.

Parineeta, (2005)

As easy as it is to fall in love in Bollywood, there's also the movies where the hero and the heroine do not fall in love with each other. Instead, being bachpan ki dost, their love blooms slowly, eventually coming to fruition when one or the other is inevitably engaged/married to someone else (depending, of course, on whether or not there's a happy ending). In Parineeta (which means "already married" so you tell me, happy or sad ending?) Saif Ali Khan and Vidya Balan, two beatiful people with large noses, are childhood friends, albeit Saif's Shekhar is higher up on the food chain than Vidya's Lolita. In fact, Shekhar's father lent Lolita's father a considerable amount of money, and plans to pull the house from under the family if he can. Enter Girish (Sanjay Dutt), who's got the hots for Lolita and the money to help out. Of course, there's also Gayetri (Diya Mirza) who's got the hots for Shekhar. And then, for good measure, there's Rekha in an item number, who I've got the hots for (honestly, she's twice my age and twice as sexy; she's one of the few females that could make me swear off men forever).

The film is beautiful to watch and, although the pace is a little slow, it's fitting for a film with so many romantic, social, and financial entanglements. The cinematography, the costumes, the sets all serve to make this Calcutta drama all the more compelling. The acting is top notch, whether it's from old hats like Sanjay or Saif or newcomer Vidya. Although Paheli was also fun and exciting and beautiful, I don't understand how it was chosen over the tear-jerking Parineeta.

Asoka, (2001)

So many people love this movie, but I just didn't feel it. Sure, it's got swordplay, lush scenery, scantily clad men and women, waterfalls, lovable children, and so on, but it seemed an overreaching yet underdeveloped piece of Hollywood bait. It claims to be an epic based on King Asoka's life, yet only gives viewers half the story (the violent, Hollywood half). The story begins when Asoka (Shahrukh Khan, out of character), a prince, begins a journey that his mother hopes will end his swordplaying ways and days. Instead, he meets (and by "meets" I mean "stalks") the captivating Princess Kaurwaki (Kareena Kapoor) and her younger brother. He teaches them to defend themselves from assassins (Oh? Did I not mention the assassins?) and some other stuff happens, I don't know, I started to lose interest, and to make a long story short Asoka thinks Kaurwaki's been killed and goes ballistic after rubbing someone else's ashes all over his face (ewww). Asoka ends up marrying a Buddhist priestess who saves his life, but instead of taking her teaching to heart he decides to conquer the world. Of course, this culminates into an "ultimate battle" scenario, with Asoka leading one force while the other is led by - surprise surprise - the not so dead Kaurwaki.

So why didn't I like this movie? Um, let's see - violence of the Hollywood variety (which differs from Bollywood violence), lackluster acting, weird song picturizations, and it ended just when the ball was getting rolling. Asoka, the historical figure, eventually converted to Buddhism and with his twin son and daughter set out to create a peaceful empire; Asoka, the movie hero, ends up just being really really really sorry and really really really sad at the end of three hours.

Mrityudand, (1997)

Mrityudand ("death sentence") opens with two women being chased by what seems to be the entire population of a small village in Bihar. According to the narration, the daughter has been found guilty of being a witch. She's pregnant. And a widow. Both she and her mother are stoned.

Already you realize this isn't a feel-good film. Instead, this movie brings to the forefront the oppression faced by women in rural villages. Chandravati (Shabana Azmi) bears the stigma of being a barren woman, while her husband deserts her to be a monk. Ketki (Madhuri Dixit) is rebuffed for trying to help her husband with business. Although the focus of the Their stories are wrapped up almost effortlessly in plots concerning caste, economics, and grassroots politics. The effect is that of an art film with the mainstream Bollywood singing, dancing, violence, and a dash of melodrama for flavor. The moral of the story: Women will kick your ass.