Kuch Khatti Kuch Meethi, (2001)

I’m going to come right out and say it. I don’t like The Parent Trap, either adaptation. I don’t like Hayley Mills and I don’t like Lindsay Lohan.

I am, however, a big fan of Kajol, which is the only reason I sought out Bollywood’s adaptation of the aforementioned film, appropriately titled Kuch Khatti Kuch Meethi (some sour, some sweet, or vice versa. Too much confusion, darling!)

As far as the sisters go, there is Sweety, who is anything but sweet. She lies, cheats, steals, and otherwise livens up the movie. She lives with her father, but hates everything about him and her situation (I would too – it’s got everything from emotional manipulation to alcoholism and physical abuse), and it’s only a matter of time before Sweety splits. Then there is the nicer, boring twin, Tina, who lives abroad with her mother. It’s easy to tell the difference between the two since Sweety wears far more eyeliner.

And as for Mom and Pop, of course they didn’t separate because of irreconcilable differences. That would be silly. They’re driven apart by an evil aunt, out for the family’s fortune. That makes much more sense.

And when Sweety ends up in England, where Tina lives, no one is more confused than Suniel Shetty. He is, in fact, so mixed up that at some point he takes up pole-dancing.

I don’t even know. I don’t know what to tell you.

Things are quickly messed up when Sweety’s dubious employers try to kill Tina, and Tina’s adopted uncle finds Sweety passed out from drinking. Tina escapes with a new boyfriend, and Sweety has found a mother she had long thought was dead.

Still, despite the likeableness of the heroine (heroines?) this movie is several notches below either Disney Parent Traps on the “Good-O-Meter.” There’s a lot that doesn’t make sense, and it doesn’t help when things turn crass (Viagra jokes? Ew) or ridiculous (“There’s an army tank in the grocery store parking lot? I knew we shouldn’t have named it Tianamen Shopping Square”).

Best (or worst?) line: “Hello? I believe in women’s lib. Oh, and by the way – all men are dumbos.”